Of Princes, Boredom, and Bad Grammar
by Mai4eternity
Summary: A collection of very short stories told by Azula, Mai, Ty Lee, and other characters themselves. Hilarity ensues.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just a short little dialogue I thought up in the middle of the night. It's really small, but I hope you like it!  
**

"Once upon a time there was a filthy Earth Kingdom peasant named Jin. She lived in a dirty little Earth Kingdom village and she thought everything was perfect and happy.

"Every morning she would wake up and sing to the stupid Earth Kingdom birds about how she wished a prince would come for her. Then she would go to her old ostrich horse and pretend it was a pretty pony-dog. She sang to her ostrich horse at the top of her lungs in her off-key voice and made it go deaf, but Jin didn't care. One day her prince would come and take her away so she would never have to see that dumb ostrich horse again.

"One day Jin was being even more filthy and loud than usual. She was so noisy that people in the Fire Nation heard her and cringed in fear.

"'Someday my prince will come. Someday.  
Maybe today,  
Maybe tomorrow  
I don't care  
As long as he coooooomes,' she sang.

"The Prince of the Fire Nation came right then and burned her village to the ground."

"That was a great story, Azula!" Ty Lee chirped.

"I know; I spent all day writing it," replied the smug princess. "Okay, Mai, it's your turn."

"Ughh, do I have to?" Mai groaned.

"Of course you do!" squealed Ty Lee.

"Fine. I'll tell a story. But only because it'll get Ty Lee to shut up."


	2. Chapter 2

"Once upon a time there was a bored girl with two stupid friends. The world exploded. The end."

"That's it?" said a disappointed acrobat.

"Yeah, pretty much," sighed the gloomy girl.

"Mai, you depress even the best of us, by which I mean me. Ty Lee, carry on," Azula ordered.

"YAY! MY TURN!" shrieked Ty Lee. "My story's gonna be really happy and cheerful!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Once upon a time there was a happy girl who lived in Happy Land and she was always happy and she had a pony and its name was Buttercup and her name was Suzuka and one day Suzuka got on Buttercup and they rode away on a rainbow to the Land of Neverending Joy where there were tons of sugar and fire flakes and sparkly things and the whole place was pink which was Suzuka's favorite color so she was happy and so was Buttercup and they loved it in the Land of Neverending Joy so they stayed there forever and ever and they never left because it was so pretty and they lived happily ever after."

"Ty, I'm speechless," the shocked princess managed to iterate.

Mai interrupted. "That was the longest, most horrifying sentence I've ever heard." She sighed.

"Well I liked it and that's what counts," Ty Lee stated, grinning.

* * *

**Do you want me to add more chapters? If you do, please review. **


	4. Chapter 4

"Let's tell more stories!"

"Ughh do we have to?"

"Well, Ty lee, I'd rather make Zuzu play with us." Azula turned around. "Zuzu, come play with us!" she called across the garden to her brother, who was sitting alone by the turtleduck pond.

"No! Last time Mom made me stick with you and I got soaked," was the annoyed reply.

"Mai's here."

"OKAY I'LL DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DOING."

"I knew it! You do have a thing for Mai!"

"You're sounding majorly like Toph right now."

"Who?"

"I don't know; it's the author's fault. Mai4eternity is such a wacko, just like you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

(Here's where I insert myself into the complete OOC-ness)

"Nothing 'Zula," I muttered. Somehow the siblings noticed me and didn't ask what I was doing there.

"How about I shoot you with a few fireballs?" a sickeningly calm voice iterated.

"Oh, no, that's fine. OOH LOOK IT'S CHAN GO MAKE OUT WITH HIM!" I crossed my fingers and hoped she wouldn't see through my hopeless attempt at a distraction. Surprisingly, it worked, to an extent. Zuko had magically disappeared so his sister was looking around like the confused lunatic she was.

"OMG IS THAT A NEW GUY TO CREEP OUT? I SOOOO LOVE SCARING PEOPLE!"

"Whoa, major OOC-ness," I thought as I slowly backed away.

* * *

"Mai4eternity's story was even worse than Ty Lee's," Mai complained.

"YAY! I'm better than someone! YIPPEEEE!" squealed the mentioned girl.

"Well, I thought it was nice, though somewhat weird," Zuko admitted.

"Zuzu, nobody cares what you think," his sister said. "Also, Mai4eternity thinks you're hot."

"I DO NOT!"

Mai retained her bored expression. "You know, randomly inserting yourself in your own stories is really annoying. And is it really necessary to copy me? I mean, seriously? Is my name not enough for you?"

There was only the faint sound of hyperventilation.

"Apparently she's just some crazed fangirl who loves Zuko," Azula finally put in. "Anyway, let's get on with this fanfic. This weird author has wasted enough time."

"Yeah sure whatever. I'm leaving. Annoying you guys is no fun. I'm just gonna go back to making you say funny things." I disappeared from the scene.

"Is it just me, or is that girl kinda cute?" Zuko added when I left. The three girls then proceeded to beat him up with shouts of "That's my line" and "you're mine."

"CURSE YOU ALL-POWERFUL MAI4ETERNITY!" yelled Azula.


	5. Chapter 5

"Zuzu, forget about that annoying psychotic girl and tell a freaking story already!" ordered Princess Azula.

"Why should I?" Zuko whined.

"If you don't, I'll shoot a ton of fireballs at you."

"OKAY OKAY FINE I'LL TELL A STUPID STORY!" He took a deep breath, and began.

"The wind blows gustily in a forest in the northern Earth Kingdom. A young man in mismatched armor hides in a tree, brandishing his hooked swords. He stands ready to fight for what he believes in; for the Earth Kingdom. The barbarian gazes out into the sunset. He remembers why he is fighting. It is a reason he will never forget: The Fire Nation killed his family. He was but a child at the time, yet he understood the gravity of the situation when he saw the raiders ride in on their Komodo Rhinos. He longed to fight, but as he had neither weapons nor armor, he was forced to flee. This had happened as the sun gradually left the skies.

"Another teenage boy on a ship not far from this forest witnesses the same sunset. He is only thirteen years of age, but he is already wearing the armor of Fire Nation royalty like a grown man. He has one goal; one quest: to capture the Avatar and restore his honor. No doubt it is an impossible task; but he remains strong and willing.

"The prince pauses in his search to rest at a small village. It is dark. He interrogates the elderly, hoping for a lead on the Avatar. He has the feeling he is being watched; but when he turns around, he sees no one.

"The boy in the tree lets a determined grin creep across his lips. He is watching the prince's every move, waiting for a chance to strike. Eventually the prince decides there's nobody following. Just when he turns around the fighter drops down in front of him.

"'Just where do you think you're going, you Fire Nation scum?' he quietly asks. 'You don't belong here. So I suggest you go running back to where you came from." He is answered with a sloppy fire blast. He ducks to avoid it. By the time he recovers the prince is gone.

"They do not meet again for three years. By then both have changed. At first they do not recognize each other, as neither have a strong recollection of faces. But as time progresses, the fighter finally identifies the prince as Fire Nation. He proudly proclaims his suspicions, only to be dragged away. He does not live to see the prince again."

"Boo! That story was actually kind of good. We don't take that kind of stuff here!" shouted Azula. She looked back at her friends, who just shrugged. The Fire Prince was then shoved violently.

"I'm sick of this," said Mai. "Let's go get some ice cream."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Yeah, I'm straying from the point. You can blame my short attention span.**

I am skipping (Yes, skipping) down the streets of Ba Sing Se when I hear an awful reading of fanfiction by some dude. After a minute of listening to him I know I have to do something to make the torture end. Barging in the hall, I take the stage. A bunch of surprised girls seem relieved that I could get the author of the worst story I've ever heard to stop reading.

"My name is Sokka.  
I am awesome at haikus  
So I will use them.

"I've seen some fanfics  
That could really use some work.  
Here are the problems

"They are all AU  
And I'm really OOC.  
Is it fanfiction?

"I don't think it is.  
There isn't a connection  
To our lives at all.

"And why does Zuko  
Always get the angry rants?  
Am I that uncool?

"What's with the shipping?  
Everyone loves Zutara.  
Can't they just be friends?

"Sappy romance fics  
And pointless post-war records  
Are way too common.

"Think of something new  
Can't you be original?  
It's always the same.

"For once in my life  
I'd like to be different  
From the other folks.

"I'm tired of this  
As I am stretching the rules  
Of the haiku form.

"Good day to you sir  
I hope you learned something here.  
I'll be leaving now."

The guy trips me and I fall out the window. What a weird sense of déjà vu.

"Sokka, what are you doing here?" Zuko asked of the dazed warrior.

"Huh? Where is 'here'?" Sokka mumbled, puzzled. "I thought I was in a teahouse in Ba Sing Se with a bunch of hot girls."

Mai, who had been standing quietly behind the new Fire Lord, spoke up. "No, you're actually in the Fire Nation. Katara and I are the only girls here. Zuko here was reading trade reports and boring me when you jumped in and started with your random haikus."

Zuko spied a small bottle clasped tightly in Sokka's hand. He snatched it from the confused one and read the label. "Cactus juice? Seriously?"

By this time "Boomerang guy" had fainted. Mai shrugged. "You see, kids, this is why you shouldn't do drugs."

"Wow, Katara! I thought you didn't have a sense of humor!" Toph punched her friend in the shoulder, causing her to yelp in pain.

"That's weird… I'm not funny, according to Aang," Katara said thoughtfully.

"It's because she isn't," said Iroh.

"Uncle, that was confusing," his nephew whined.

"You asked for a story, and you got one. Quit complaining. You must bring balance to the world."

Zuko groaned. "I'm twelve. Can't I do that tomorrow?"


	7. Chapter 7

"Open it, Mai!"

"Do it."

A groan.

The Fearsome Threesome crowded around Zuko's desk, examining something: small book bound with leather. Mai reached out with a quavering hand and rapidly flipped the cover open to display the first page:

_**The story of Zuko,**_

_in which a stereotypical Asian father freaks out over the most trifling matter in the known universe, or, an A- on a math test, and subsequently sends aforesaid boy to the library, an unnatural event leading to the end of the world._

Below those words it was written in sloppy, rushed calligraphy:

_Do not touch. That means you Azula! I repeat: Do not touch, on your forever sacred honor. _

_Signed, Zuko, your big brother._

The three girls read this with amused interest. _"_Pshh honor," Azula said with a flick of her wrist. "Mai, keep reading."

"Oh, alright, I get the pleasure of reading Zuko's 'dumbass' stories aloud. This ought to be _great,_" was the sarcastic reply.

"No wait! I get to do it! After all, he _is _my brother," exclaimed Azula.

"Nah, I'd rather read it myself," said Mai.

"I'm the princess and therefore better than you!"

"I don't really care."

"I'll make you care!"

"Yeah… no, not really."

"I LIKE CHIHUAHUAS!" interjected Ty Lee to the shock of those around her. She simply shrugged. "What? I needed something to say! And plus, too much arguing is bad for your skin. Your auras were totally red… well not red, more of a mud with flecks of scarlet*… well either way it was scary. Plus, aren't we forgetting why we're here in the first place?" She motioned to the desk where the book was still lying open, forgotten.

The three turned back to concentrate on the object, but the sound of crying reached their ears. According to Azula bawling like a baby meant Zuko had failed miserably on something, most likely Firebending. Even at the age of ten she was better than her brother, a truth both Mai and Ty Lee knew and accepted.

So, because they would get caught, Ty Lee slammed the book shut and jammed it on the shelf as Mai and Azula slipped out of the room, following suit once that was finished. They ran down the hall out to the courtyard, where the three panted heavily from the exertion. Once they had recovered Azula said one thing:

"What a noob."

* * *

***minimal research; means nothing in reality**

**Oh, and sorry for the swearing, but Azula seems like the kind of person who would pick those things up.**


	8. Chapter 8

_Avatar Weekly, vol. 4, issue 37_

Below is an assignment done by the late Admiral Zhao at the age of fifteen.

Zhao Ben Ni  
75 ASC, 4th month, 19th day  
Second period

Factotum

I'm supposed to be writing about the importance of factotums.

Thing is, I can't.

Blah

Blah

Lahdeedah

I am bored.

Teetotum

Mindfuck.

You know what, Mrs. Ying? I don't want to do this assignment. I think you're a fat mean old lady who doesn't know what the heck she's doing.

I'll

Take

A

Zero

On

This.

See if I care.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Okay I've written a whole page. Done.


End file.
